HIV Gay Man Opens Up About His HIV Status to Provide Hope for Gay HIV Singles

I’m Daniels and I’m from Georgia, Around 14 years ago, back in Atlanta, I was in a long-term relationship and we went on a business trip

One afternoon in trip, I walked into the bathroom and he was in a bathroom and it was like blood everywhere and He refused to go to the hospital. You know, he was like, ‘I’m fine. But I made him once we got back home that he would go to the hospital. And by the time we got back to Atlanta, the next morning, I had told his mom that what had happened. He wasn’t necessarily out of the closet, but his mother knew about us.

We went to the hospital and that’s when everything changed I had to go back to work. I was a manager at a reputed company and so his mama volunteered to take him so I met them up there actually he was like, “Well, you know, the doctor says that I have lymphoma cancer. he was like, I have more to tell you and I was like, “What?” And he was like, you know, “I also tested HIV Positive.” I think he might’ve even said “full-blown AIDS” at that time and living with HIV. I was real big on using condoms and things like that so… but I still didn’t know. I got tested that day. I came back HIV Negative and We go back to the house and he’s having to take chemo and I had to end up going into changing my work schedule because I can go and take him to chemo in the morning between me and his mom.

I and his mom didn’t really have the best relationship, but then other families started coming to the house, to check in… check in on him and stuff like that and I think during that time, he expressed to them who I was as his partner, but they never even knew he was gay and I remember one Saturday afternoon,, his aunt, and more relatives coming over to the house and basically told me to my face, “you only did this to my nephew. The way you guys live is what happened to my nephew. This was a punishment to him, but what y’all doing in his house.” So I was very kind of like pushed out in a lot of ways when his family came to visit. I remember the last time he was rushed to the hospital and he was like, I was laying by his, was sitting, sitting by his bedside and his mom, I think she had went outside. and he was like, I want to come back home with you tonight. he was like, begging me and I remember just telling him “You’re going to come home. You’re eventually going to come home.” You know, giving him some kind of reassurance. that was the last conversation I had with him and His mom called me and said that he had passed away. So I didn’t, the last words that I had with him was, “I want to come home,” and it was nothing I can do about that. I was told that, it was family business and I get to the funeral. There was no space for me So I had to find a space like in the back of the church so that, that feeling stuck with me when I got back to Atlanta, Of course, I couldn’t afford the place that we stayed in together. His mother had taken claim of all the itemsand I literally went one afternoon, went and got all my stuff and left everything. I started crashing on one of my good friends’s couch and that lasted for months because during that time I just fell into a deep depression.

Really deep depression. I was drinking, going out, One night, I talked to the phone, my mom and I kind of like told her everything and she told me to come home. My sister was living in Austin and I had visited before all this happened but I don’t want to go back to Detroit but let me… I want to go somewhere new. So I packed my car. And I drove that 16 hours ride to Austin and I moved in with my sister and my nephew. i started writing, started doing theater and started doing art and stuff like that, and was living a really good life in Austin. “When the last time you were tested?” just after, I took the test and they wanted to talk about my sexual, the same stuff they talk about and The doctor came in there and I knew it. I knew I was HIV positive and that was the information that I got. I didn’t really feel no way. I kind of just got numb. I was like, it was my fate But a lot of me inside of me took me back to Atlanta, it took me back to the day that my partner found out that he was HIV+.

I’ve started to do more like self reflect and work in a community and I realized it was really stigma. So I decided that I wanted to be the visibility for our community and I wanted to be the voice for those who could live with HIV and thrive with HIV and I knew that was going to take work. All of 2019, we worked together. I started to do more spiritual practices and I started doing sage, calling all my ancestors. About 2 years ago, my friend suggested me to look at dating sites for HIV positive people for meet and get support through online. Now, I am living with a partner who understands and supports me in very good way and now my life has been happy.